There is nothing worse than hearing for weeks and weeks precisely how someone would like to fuck you then finding out they actually can’t perform. A recent partner had this detailed fantasy about tasting me in the shower then fucking me on all fours from behind.
The image was enticing. So I opted in, became fully entrenched in the fantasy he was offering. It felt so real that I could feel his fingers gliding over my wet skin. When the moment finally arrived, it was laced with disappointment. As soon as his dick hit the condom it went linguini.
I get it, sometimes anxiety gets the best of us and the thing to do is pause and redirect. What bothered me was his pretending it wasn’t happening and pushing forward with the softness.
I had to say, “this isn’t working.”
He licked and fingered me to completion but it was really frustrating not to get the dick I’d envisioned.
The next morning he was excited to wake up next to me and I hid the agony of waking with a pussy strained with want. Surely we can have good sex once we get more comfortable, I thought. With cooler heads and no alcohol in our systems, I decided to give it another shot. So I gave him some attention and soon I was ready to ride. He was rock hard in my mouth, but as soon as my pussy got close to him, he deflated. What the hell? I mumbled internally. I tried stroking him and kissing his neck to get him back to the hard place, but it simply did not work. I was frustrated, but concealed it. I didn’t want to impose more stress.
I asked him, “baby, why aren’t you excited?”
He said “I am.”
Either he was in denial or somehow his mind and body weren’t communicating. He did manage to penetrate me that morning, but the dick was barely erect and truthfully, I could faintly feel it. After several minutes he went softer, softest, and stopped.
I decided to take a shower and cum with the shower head, but failed because of the frustrations circling the room.
Now two failed attempts later, I must weigh my interest in him against my hunger for satisfaction. In churning the experience over in my head, I’ve started to wonder what could cause a breakdown between excitement in the mind and a body’s ability to express it. Is there a way to reconnect mind and body for a complete sexual response?
• Image by Gregory Prescott •