With Passion

Come tear off my

Underwear

Darling please

Wet your fingers

In my mouth

Won’t you please

I like it when

You are here

On your knees

Run your fingers

Through my hair

Can’t you please

Haunt me please

Want me please

Darling please

Soliloquy 

Perplexed by the paralysis

of my tongue,

I want him pinned down,

tied,

and bound

I can’t wait to stroke it,

fondle his fear,

tap stilettos beside

his ear

Dear Darkness,

I want him. And

I’ll try not to break him

while he hovers

between

ecstasy and existence

And when I Iet him come

back to reality

he’ll see me lick the

remnants of a furious

harvest from my hand

————————————–

• Art by @Aliciarihko •

I finally know what it’s like to be DP’d

I’m very new to butt play, and for me it’s kind of like learning a new language. I’m not perfect at distinguishing what feels good or isolating specifics when something is inside me. But what I do know is I very much enjoy sensations on top of sensations, the more the better.

My DP experience included a teeny tiny plug slightly thicker than a skinny tooth brush, but in the flesh-like material that is very adaptable to my body. It was that in my ass, a finger in my pussy, and a vibrator on my clit that created this new world of sensations for me.

With the toy alone in my ass, I almost feel dizzy. I can feel it but I can’t localize it like I can with something in my pussy. It’s hard to take by itself because my body struggles between wanting to push it out and relaxing to take more in. But with the other stimulation in place, my body is too distracted by all the pleasure to clench up and focus on fear.

So it’s easy for pleasure waves to transfer to the ass and make it feel more pleasurable too. Eventually it felt so good that I could keep plug in without a problem. And that’s when it happened, something that I’ve seen in films but never thought I would experience myself — the double penetration.

I was face down with my back arched and ass tilted towards him. With the plug in place and snug, he took out his finger and inserted his cock. I felt so full. He started to move in and out, nudging the toy with his cock with each motion. It was immense, the sensation of him and something else inside me. Small as it was, it was very noticeable and quite often I felt like I was so close to coming that I’d fucking explode. For me, DP was like extended edge play, an exquisite experience.

Confetti Cum

I drop my head,

close my eyes,

rub my eyelids,

exhale, and confetti

flares from my nostrils

Now when I cum

I don’t go anywhere

There’s no movement

Orgasms devoid of tension

My memory devastated

Body amnesiac

Completely blind to the mosaic

pleasure has painted

I drop my head,

cover my eyes

Exhale and confetti flares

from my nostrils

Dissolved ashes rise

above me before

I can catch the colors

Penis Problems

There is nothing worse than hearing for weeks and weeks precisely how someone would like to fuck you then finding out they actually can’t perform. A recent partner had this detailed fantasy about tasting me in the shower then fucking me on all fours from behind.

The image was enticing. So I opted in, became fully entrenched in the fantasy he was offering. It felt so real that I could feel his fingers gliding over my wet skin. When the moment finally arrived, it was laced with disappointment. As soon as his dick hit the condom it went linguini.

I get it, sometimes anxiety gets the best of us and the thing to do is pause and redirect. What bothered me was his pretending it wasn’t happening and pushing forward with the softness.

I had to say, “this isn’t working.”

He licked and fingered me to completion but it was really frustrating not to get the dick I’d envisioned.

The next morning he was excited to wake up next to me and I hid the agony of waking with a pussy strained with want. Surely we can have good sex once we get more comfortable, I thought. With cooler heads and no alcohol in our systems, I decided to give it another shot. So I gave him some attention and soon I was ready to ride. He was rock hard in my mouth, but as soon as my pussy got close to him, he deflated. What the hell? I mumbled internally. I tried stroking him and kissing his neck to get him back to the hard place, but it simply did not work. I was frustrated, but concealed it. I didn’t want to impose more stress.

I asked him, “baby, why aren’t you excited?”

He said “I am.”

Either he was in denial or somehow his mind and body weren’t communicating. He did manage to penetrate me that morning, but the dick was barely erect and truthfully, I could faintly feel it. After several minutes he went softer, softest, and stopped.

I decided to take a shower and cum with the shower head, but failed because of the frustrations circling the room.

Now two failed attempts later, I must weigh my interest in him against my hunger for satisfaction. In churning the experience over in my head, I’ve started to wonder what could cause a breakdown between excitement in the mind and a body’s ability to express it. Is there a way to reconnect mind and body for a complete sexual response?

• Image by Gregory Prescott •

Sax Sounds

She was one of the first roommates I had who I wasn’t attracted to. Not until the time I heard her. Her voice soaking with sounds the wall that separated our bedrooms.

She was my second roomie that summer. First to invite me along with her friends and spend time with mine. That’s how I came to pass my date – a green eyed, lightly complexed complication, onto her. 

I was too broken to pay him the right attention. So I told her, “take this one, I just called him by my ex’s name.” I didn’t think twice about it. Maybe a part of me thought she could never land him. 

Six years later, I learn she did. 

Now it haunts me. No, it’s not that I’m angry. It’s just… from time to time I wonder – was it the three of us getting off together that night? The first time I heard her the sensation of her voice lingered like saxophonic riffs of raw pleasure in the air.

So hypnotic, I was pulled towards it. Entranced, my fingers danced in wetness. My ear pressed to the wall. I heard it all. Standing close to the speakers, the echo chamber of melodies, and hearing their bodies rise and fall brought me more in-tune with mine for the first time since I’d lost it all. 

I wonder if it was the three of us together that night, the time I heard her. I wonder how it would have been without the wall.